vamos, cubana!

i think one of the best things about this city is its spontaneity and the effect its having on me. last night i went out for a bite to eat with holly and laura, two of my hostel friends. the weather turned mid-meal and we got stuck in the pouring rain, unable to squeeze onto a packed collectivo or hail a cab. soaked and freezing when we finally made it home, all i wanted to do was rip off my wet clothes, wrap myself in 18 blankets and enjoy the Iguana beer i had bought at a kiosco when i realized my night was probably shot to shit. I had planned to see a local band in Palermo, but on rainy nights like that I much prefer to stay in, and I knew everyone at the hostel would probably be doing the same thing.

I wrapped myself up just as planned and went downstairs, opened my beer and plopped myself on the couch next to los colombianos. just as i was starting to get comfy and mildly drunk, in walks juan. remember juan from the last post: he's the crazy ballerina that is literally mario jr.'s twin. he's a ball of uncensored energy, cursing and yelling profanities left and right, but he's a real stand-up guy and it's apparent from his infectious spirit. anyway, in he walks like a bat out of hell, sopping wet and complaining about the music they were playing on 9 de Julio (it's the bicenntenial anniversary of el dia de la revoluciontomorrow, so there's been a massive celebration all weekend on the city's main avenue). He had more beer with him and stuff for making pizza, which, by the way, was probably the best homemade pizza ever (for all you experimental chefs: PLEASE get your hands on a cheese that's named queso de santa brigida, i think it changed my life). Anyway, one liter turned into oh, about three. normally after a long night of getting stuck in the rain and drinking in my pj's, it'd be lights out. but around 1:30, when juan screamed, "vamos cubana! vamos a bailar salsa!" i shrugged my shoulders, ran upstairs and got dressed. in a city like buenos aires, where the action's abound, where any night could easily become one of the best nights ever, you have to be ready for anything.

i don't think i was ready for how much fun i had that night, doing a HORRIBLE job of keeping up with juan (i mean, the guy is literally a professional!) sweating my ass off, and watching everyone dance. i felt like i was in old Havana, men approaching women to dance, the women spinning wildly on the floor, shimmying their shoulders and throwing their heads back in the air con gusto. everyone was so unbelievably good that it makes me want to sign up for salsa lessons yesterday. i felt intensely connected to a part of me that i hadn't thought about in a long time: i pictured my parents when they used to dance salsa at parties and what not and it made me feel like i was home. more and more, buenos aires is becoming home, a home to that piece of me that for some reason has been stifled for years but is just bursting to come out.

that piece of me perhaps is the latina in me, but also the adventurous part, the fearless part of me that knows that you have to choose the path that feels right in that moment, even if that path leads you somewhere you weren't expecting. i have found myself in a very different situation than i have ever been in, one that has set me on fire but at the same time, one that i'm in no rush with at all. usually, i'm flying full force into this kind of thing, unable to control the urge to act on my impulses. but maybe you could say i'm "growing" in that sense, insistent on being patient and uncovering every layer of this one at a time.

i have devised four major trips that I am determined to take, in ordert o cover Brazil, Peru, Chile, Bolivia and Uruguay. If anyone is interested in joining me for any of them, you are more than welcome. bueno, hasta luego amigos!

la vida en Buenos Aires

as i'm writing tonight from a cafe around the corner from my hostel in Recoleta, i'm sipping a glass of vino tinto and desperately hoping I can recall every minute detail about this amazing city I am quickly falling in love with. From the second I arrived I felt at home: late as it was, I strolled through the streets to my friend Kelly's apartment and didn't feel an ounce threatened or afraid. At Kelly's place, we had some wine while she and Meredith gave me the lowdown on Buenos Aires and caught up on life. When i finally dragged myself home at 3:30, exhausted form traveling all day, I slept more soundly in my temporary bed than I had in months.

I awoke the next day and decided to go for a run before my meeting with Mariana, the women that helped arrange my internship at the Argentimes. I ran all along Montevideo, up to Corrientes Avenue, back down to Plaza Larrea and finally home. The streets of Buenos Aires are relatively easy to learn and after 2 full days here, I feel like I know my way around like a native. After my run, I met with Mariana at a cafe downstairs and we discussed my internship and stay in Buenos Aires. Then began the apartment hunting: I went to see three places, and got incredibly lost on a collectivo, or what they call the buses here. I rode it so far I almost left the city! The buses are far more difficult to understand here than the subway or even walking. None of the bus stops have a name or anything, so you sort of just have to know where you are or where you need to get off in order to get to where you're going. The Guia "T" is the grid system that gives you a map of the bus lines and stops, etc. It's kind of daunting but I'm sure once I'm more settled in, I'll be using the collectivos freely.

That night, I arrived back to the hostel at an impossibly late hour, but some of the guys staying there were just hanging out in the living area, eating dinner and watching tv. I plopped down next to Manuel and William, two impossibly adorable brothers from Colombia, who were joined by Juan, this crazy Argentine ballerina who I swear is the spitting image of my schizophrenic brother, with a personality to match. (Side note: while I've been here, I have met so many people that resemble faces from home. I wonder why that is?)

Just sitting around with these guys, I realized how impossibly happy I am to be in such a different culture. Everyone speaking spanish, dancing bachata, talking shit. I was surprised at how well I could keep up with the witty banter, and I have to say that so far no one thinks I'm anything but Argetinian and I have gotten many compliments on my spanish.

Something I've noticed about this place is that the people are insanely courteous, genuine and friendly. For example, its custom to give up your seat to an elderly person or a woman with a child. I've seen this happen more than 5 times in the two days I've been riding the subways and buses (I can't think of ANYWHERE in the US where you see this happen.) Also, I have spent literally NO money since I've been here: before I left, I changed 300 dollars into pesos. I spent 131 american dollars on my tariff to enter the country, and in the last 2 days I have eaten out for every meal, drank alcohol, taken taxis, subways and buses, bought a hair dryer (I blew my supposed universal blow dryer out within 10 minutes of being here) a couple of adapters, took a pilates class, and went grocery shopping and I still haven't needed to visit an ATM. I bought the MOST delicious pear I have ever eaten and it cost me but 10 cents. The empanadas which are bar none the best I've ever had cost about 40 cents. And the wine runs at about $3 a glass. I haven't done anything but window shop but the prices on clothes are also inexpensive: there are a million things I want, none of which costs over $50, and that includes coats, jackets and shoes.

THE MEN: even the bums are attractive. I'm falling in love around every corner. I was warned before I came that they would be aggressive, and they sure as hell are- and then some. I have never been stared at, cat called, or whistled at so much in my entire life. Sometimes it's absolutely obnoxious, but when it's this beautiful man with wavy hair, light eyes and a sharp suit, I welcome it. At any rate, it still intimidates me and I find myself looking away even when I would otherwise be interested. I have met soo many men in the short time that I've been here, but at this point all I really care to do is experience this city alone and find myself in some thing before I find myself with some one.

Yesterday I decided to continue my apartment hunting and took the subte down to Palermo, where I encountered Plaza Serrano, which is this awesome round-a-bout filled with bars, restaurants, and bo-ho chic clothing stores-aka, my heaven. I arrived at Cordoba 4944, rang the bell, and walked into my future home. It's an older 5-bedroom house, with an open upstairs terrace and an incredible view of the city from the roof. the bedroom was huge, lined up and down with windows that fill the room with natural light and a cool breeze, and leads out to the terraza that's lined with plants and fresh herbs for cooking.

A guy named Ramsey owns the place, a twenty-something from DC who bought it a couple years ago and is currently living in the bedroom that's to be mine. He's spent the last 10 or so years traveling the world, living in Argentina, Germany and Syria. In the house lives Jessica from Los Angeles, Yasmin from Australia, Alex from France, and Sebastian from Chile, and the combination of the spectacularity of the place plus the buena onda that I get from these people made me realize this was home. Let's just put it this way: I went to see the place at 3:00 pm, and wound up staying the whole night, drinking yerba mate, cooking lentils and vegetables with some of the fresh herbs grown in the terrace, and going out to Club 69 with Jessica and Ramsey for a drag show and dancing until 6:30 am. I love the fact that they are all here to do the same thing I am, that we're all from such different backgrounds and that we are all immersing ourselves in Argentine culture. I wish you all could see this place too! (photos to come soon) It's exactly what I wanted and for $450 bones a month. It's so rustic and open and very Buenos Aires. It's nearby a gym, yoga studio, organic market, amazing restaurants, bars and shopping, and even a dance studio. As soon as I move in, I'm starting tango lessons and Alex and I are doing an "exchange," something thats very common here. All it means is that I will help Alex with spanish in exchange for her helping me with French-and this can be done with anything and everything. For example, Ramsey has an exchange with a guy who teaches him guitar in exchange for helping him with english.

That's another thing I absolutely love about this city: classes and exchanges are plentiful and extremely inexpensive. I can more than afford tango lessons, photography classes, yoga, pilates, language classes, you name it. Between the classes, the amazing produce markets, the bustling nightlife, the customs and the extraordinary people, I am feeling so happy and alive I can hardly stand it.

Today I woke up veryyy late for me: 1:30 pm. That's the lifestyle here, everyone wakes up late and I can't say I mind it. I dressed and had a milanesa napolitana, a fried steak sandwich with ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato. Then I decided enough was enough and did some grocery shopping and headed back to the hostel to pick up my camera and drop off my food. I spent the afternoon roaming the city and taking photos, and encountered Gardelito, a quasi-famous guitarist from Buenos Aires who insisted on showing me his mounds of newspaper clippings and strummed me a tango on his guitar. Tonight I'm meeting Rocio, the Argentine girl whose apt I initially went to see (though this other place turned out a better deal, me and Rocio really hit it off!) and we are joining some of her friends for drinks in Plaza Serrano.

A few other tidbits: yerba mate is a grassy tea that everyone drinks here and its such a unique thing. You have this one steel cup with a steel straw, and in the cup is this bitter tea that has grass (literally, yerba means grass) floating in it. You fill a separate thermos with hot water and one person (and only one, thats part of the custom) fills the cup with the hot water, drinks the whole cup, fills it again and passes it to the next person. The tea gives you energy and it's supposed to be a social thing. Speaking of energy, the energy of challenging authority and government here in BsAs is another thing I love. Yesterday there was a protest on Avenida Sante Fe, a major street here and people were chanting and carrying signs with pictures of Che Guevara. Also, the pastries here are absolutely divine. I resisted until today, when I had an alfajore, a powered sugar cookie sandwich with a dulce de leche filling. And of course, the meat is the best I've eaten, tender and delicious and inexpensive. Also, I love the fact that there's no one-stop shop for anything, and that I'm not married to my phone. Not having accessible internet, email and Facebook makes me realize how much life you miss when you're constantly checking your messages. The only thing that's disappointed me thus far is the fact that Buenos Aires is surprisingly humid, even in winter. Will I ever escape bad hair days?!

I am so unbelievable happy to be here and will write again soon. This weekend, and carrying on into Tuesday is the bicentenario, or the 200th anniversary of Revolution Day which completely changed Argentine government. Parades, music, parties galore. Then on Wednesday, I start work at the Argentimes (interestingly enough, me new roommate Jessica was treated to a free dinner because a friend of hers that works for the Argentimes got a meal comped because she was writing a food review-yes this is what I get to do!!) I feel so at home and so far everyone has been wonderful and welcoming, and I looove espeking the espanish. Love to you all from BsAs! <3

When there's nothing left to burn...

You have to set yourself on fire.

After months of scheming, planning and organizing details big and small, the day is here. In just a couple of hours I will be boarding a plane to Buenos Aires. The adventure of my lifetime.

I arrived at the airport exactly two hours early for my flight only to find it was delayed until 1 pm. waaa. the first bump of what I'm sure will be many, I'm anxiously tapping my toes at the airport starbucks sucking down black coffee and incessantly checking my watch. i'm so excited i can hardly stand it but even then, none of this seems real. it probably won't until the plane takes off.

saying goodbye wasn't as difficult as i thought it would be (maybe it's because i get to leave!) i didn't cry at all and i don't feel scared or emotional. just READY. ready to start something new, something completely different and unconventional. the idea that i will be speaking an entirely different language is exhilirating. the thought of getting lost on the subway titilates me. and not having any sort of agenda or plan for what's going to happen or what i'm going to do or who i'm going to meet makes me feel like I'm doing the only thing I could be doing. For so long, I have felt restless and unsatisfied, bored with the everyday and desperate for a change. my life in miami is wonderful, my friends are amazing and my family is great..blah blah blah. none of that changed the fact that i needed a change of scenery, a fresh start where no one knows my name, or what i was like as a child, or how many times I crashed my car or embarassed myself. and here it is, staring me in the face: the change i promised myself a thousand times i would make.

i titled this blog after a line i heard in a song once. i think it applies so perfectly here because that's exactly how i feel about my life in miami. i've seen and done it all, i've made the best of friends and had amazing experiences. miami is and always will be home, but i've taken all that I can from her and it's time to move on and start the next chapter. Everything I've known and set up for myself, I have to set on fire, leaving ashes for memories that i'll take with me wherever i go.

certainly uncertain, at least i'm pretty sure i am

today i woke up semi-cranky and feeling overwhelmed. the countdown keeps getting shorter, yet the days feel too long and not long enough all at once. between studying for finals and the craziness of last week, i feel displaced and ready to settle into a niche, and that niche is presumably in a foreign country where I know no one and nothing.

I suppose that today was the first time I felt anxiety about the journey I'm going to embark on. With everything that's been happening, I havent had a moment to breathe let alone think about the fact that I am plunging full force into an unknown land. Until now I haven't had a moment's hesitation about it and have seen it only as the beginning of the adventure that is my life. but after being asked for, oh, about the hundredth time, "And you're going there completely by yourself?" the paranoia crept in and those unfamiliar feelings permeated through my usually chipper exterior and made me feel...just uuugghh.

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling the need to escape from the routine you've set for yourself in order to find your actual self, the person you know is in there but lying dormant in the face of responsibility and obligation and everything adulthood. most of all, i HATE it when someone tries to tell me how dangerous it is what I'm doing and where I'm going. Dangerous? I grew up in one of the murder capitals of the world. Danger is at every corner--if you're oblivious to it, you're that much more likely to run into it. I also hate it when someone just cant seem to wrap their head around the fact that yes, I am going alone, and yes, it's just because I feel like it. No, I don't have family there and no, I've never been to Buenos Aires. Little do they know, that's all part of the appeal.

there's a handful of people i'm going to miss, but the beauty of the relationships I have with these people is that no matter how far away we are or how much time passes, nothing changes, and when we reunite it will be as though we never missed a beat. I'm not afraid of the change thats certainly going to happen, because the only constant thing in life is change and there's something really comforting about that to me. and though there's so many wonderful things about this magic city that is permanently part of my soul, I don't think I can stand even another week here without wanting to kill someone. Or possibly doing so accidently with my vehicle, the very bain of my existence on this planet.

today i said out loud, admitted to myself and the people in my company, "I don't think I know anything about anything." And up until I said that, I think a part of me thought I knew a whole lot. certainly not everything but definitely enough to get by, and maybe even enough to teach a thing or two to someone willing to learn. But the truth is, I don't think ANYONE in my life really knows anything about anything, even the "adults" (in fact, some of THEM are worse off than twenty-something me!)

i'm certainly uncertain, i don't know anything about anything, and i wouldn't have it any other way.