yesterday was a rough day for my family. my 99 year old great grandmother, whose dementia and disability has caused her to be a lifeless vegetable for the last 8 years, has gone into hospice. it is a blessing because she needs to rest, but its quite sad to think that this is how we will remember her. i barely recall a time when she was okay. her son, my great-uncle, died of cancer when I was 12, and after that she wasn't the same. death is so difficult. what do we even live for, if in the end you are just a weak piece of shit, praying for darkness? i dont believe in life anymore. i dont believe that anything happens when it ends either, we just cease to exist. am i the only one out there who feels desperately hopeless? someone please say no.
About Me
- La Nicolasa
- Nicolasa [nee-co-la-sa]: the undeniably quirky, unintentionally oblivious and historically mischievious little wanderer that's searching for the meaning of her life whilst having the time of her life. Perhaps we've found the meaning, after all.